


my character's strong but my head is loose

by axsun



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Morgan and Reid like to make fun of Prentiss, Penelope Garcia is ultimate wingman, set in mid-late season 3, shots, they're at a bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24687877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/axsun/pseuds/axsun
Summary: So maybe Emily Prentiss is a little bit jealous.UPDATE 6/16/20: in my haste to upload this, I forgot a very important detail in my first draft. if you've read this already, go ahead and see if you can find the change ;)
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 29
Kudos: 223





	my character's strong but my head is loose

**Author's Note:**

> (content warning: drinking, shots.)

“Maybe you guys should stop,” JJ says, the voice of reason covered by the crowd around her and her friends’ excited shrieks as they down another shot. There’s concern etched all of her face, but her mouth is curved in a smile of amusement, and Penelope laughs as she pinches her cheek.

“Oh, JJ, sweet, gorgeous, angelic Jayje,” she croons, cheeks flushed pink from all the alcohol, “our dear Em challenged me, and you know I can never back down from a challenge.”

The new agent laughs a little breathlessly, her cheeks so much more red than Penelope and pupils a little blown, and JJ can only shake her head. Penelope had insisted they all go out for drinks today, as the team had been gone for the entire week and she hadn’t seen them since last Saturday, and once they sat down, Emily commented she could hold more alcohol than the other. Penelope took it to heart, with JJ dutifully sitting out and standing as judge, but from the red glows of her friends, she starts to regret letting them compete.

“Well, I have to go,” she says, standing up and sliding a ten dollar bill to the other agents, smiling at their cries of protest. “I told you guys already, my brother’s in town, I’m going to meet his kid.”

“Oh, the Thomas brother?” Emily asks, eyebrows furrowing as she desperately tries to recall any mention of the media liaison’s family through her drunken haze, and JJ and Penelope laugh at her confused expression.

“Yes, the Thomas brother,” JJ mimics, reaching for her phone. “The one who was disowned when I was two and didn’t even know existed until he found me a couple weeks ago.”

“Ah, the Thomas brother,” Emily says, her face breaking into a goofy grin that makes it clear she hasn’t processed any of what JJ had said. “Tell him I — we — I said hello!”

JJ scrunches her face up in a pained expression, and she sticks her tongue out at the dark-haired woman. 

“Oh, I will,” she says. “Take care of yourselves, okay? Bye guys.”

She presses a quick kiss to Penelope’s cheek before waving goodbye, disappearing out of sight after ducking out of the doorway, and the remaining blonde turns to her companion, eyes narrowed in mischievousness before frowning at the dull expression on her face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Emily stares sullenly at the table before declaring, “I’m like, super drunk,” and downing the remaining full shot on their table, wincing at the burn. Penelope giggles, but it quickly fades when it’s clear the shot didn’t help her at all.

“How come she only kisses you?” Emily blurts out, and the tech analyst stares at her.

“What?”

“She — ”

Her normally pale skin is incredibly flushed, spreading all over her face and dipping into her cleavage, and she fumbles for words as Penelope watches, fascinated by the normally held-together agent unraveling.

_ I guess she can’t do tequila. _

“She always kisses you,” Emily says, “but not me. Why won’t she kiss me?”

“I — what?” Penelope starts laughing, serving only to edge on the flustered agent as she continues, her voice rising in pitch and volume.

“I always see her kissing you! Like, on the cheek, but she never kisses me. Do you think she doesn’t like me? Is that why she won’t kiss me?”

“Emily, sweetheart, JJ likes you plenty — ”

“I like her too!” Emily says loudly, drawing heads from the surrounding customers, and Penelope has to stifle a laugh when she realizes the brunette is swaying on her seat. “I like her, like, a lot, and I want her to kiss me — ”

“As much as I absolutely adore you, sweet Em, I’m going to take you home,” Penelope interrupts, standing up and offering her arm to the brunette agent, who blinks dumbly at the sudden movement before groping for her arm to stand shakily. “You, my pretty, have had too much to drink.”

The taxi ride back to Emily’s apartment is surprisingly quiet, the only sign of Emily’s distress her bouncing knee, giving Penelope plenty of time to analyze everything that came out of her friend’s mouth. Walking up three flights of stairs is surprisingly easy, considering how drunk Emily is (she only slips twice), and she’s able-bodied enough to unlock her door and close it behind the two before collapsing on her couch, eyes glazed over and lip trembling. Penelope chortles to herself as she pours a glass of water for the two of them from her kitchen before hurrying over and setting the glass down on the coffee table between the couch and armchair, taking a seat and biding her time in the plush armchair..

_ Dark beauty wants golden angel to kiss her, huh? _ she muses. She snorts as she remembers how just last week, JJ had sprinted into her lair in a flustered mess, fanning her pink cheeks and nearly hyperventilating as she brokenly explained to Penelope how she had bumped into Emily and dropped her papers and they both bent down to pick them up and when JJ looked up she was literally an inch away from Emily’s face and her eyes were so dark and her lips were so dark and red and plump and--

“What’s so funny?” Emily says suddenly, eyes snapping back into focus to stare down Penelope, who doesn’t bother smothering her giggles.

“Hm?” Penelope asks.

Emily narrows her eyes in suspicion, and she begins biting her lip before blurting out, “I really like her, Garcia.”

“Oh sweetie, I know — ”

“I really, really like her! She’s so pretty, and whenever we’re on cases and I look at her, it’s like she’s glowing. Glowing. Like the sun.”

“And the way her eyes pierce you, like they can see right through you,” Penelope prompts, and Emily nods enthusiastically.

“Yeah, her eyes! They’re so blue, when I look at her and she sees me, it’s like — it’s like we’re the only people in the room. She’s so stunning, so — ” she waves her arms around, poised as though to demonstrate some abstract concept, and she settles for, “perfect. JJ is perfect. You know when I first came here, she was the first person I talked to?”

The blonde shakes her head, unable to hide the wide grin on her face as Emily continues, emboldened.

“She asked me where I was going and I thought I was going to faint, she was wearing a pencil skirt and her legs were so toned and her eyes were so bright, I said she was pretty and I was looking for an Agent Hotchner — ”

Penelope gasps. “She never told me that.”

JJ did tell her that. Showed up in Penelope’s office without warning, cheeks flushed and knees shaking before announcing that a new agent just told her she was pretty and that said-new agent was also very pretty. Penelope let her cool down in the lair for a bit before sending her out to chase after this new agent, but not before sneaking into all the available cameras in the FBI building just to see  _ how  _ pretty this new agent was.

“Her lips look so cute, Garcia,” Emily says dreamily. “Have you seen them? It’s hard not to, they’re so pink, and they look so soft. Are they soft, Garcia?”

“Well, that’s for you to find out, isn’t it?” Penelope teases, and Emily lets out a sigh as she starts fanning herself. “Sweetheart, you’re all red, and you’re horribly drunk.”

“I am,” Emily agrees. “Why are you in my home?”

“Oh baby,” Penelope coos, standing up to help Emily to her feet. “I’ve had my fill of stories and tellings from you today, but I’m thinking maybe you should clean yourself up and get to bed. Here, let’s go.”

Emily is a vaguely put-together drunk, the blonde notes, despite having no filter in her mouth. She comes out of the bathroom in one piece (Penelope has to help her fix her robe, which she put on backwards), and after only minimal coaxing, curls up in bed, breathing steadying out within moments. Penelope stands at the bedroom doorway, studying the now-passed out agent, and with a grin, she exits the apartment, making sure to lock the door on her way out. Her Uber driver makes no comment when she spends the entire ride on her phone, texting someone.

“Hey, how was the shot contest?”

Emily looks up from her papers and smiles at the media liaison, who’s now perched on the edge of her desk, leaning over slightly, files pressed tightly to her chest.

“Hey JJ,” Emily says, pushing her papers to the side. “Ah, it was fine — Pen took me home ‘cause she was worried I was too drunk.”

“Too drunk?” JJ laughs, hand reaching up to brush away a few strands of golden hair, and Emily’s breath catches.

“Yeah, well, I think she was just scared of losing,” she manages, and JJ snorts.

“Really?” JJ says. “From what I heard, you were pretty drunk.”

“What you heard?”

Usually, it’s Emily making JJ flustered, but it’s the way she’s perched on her desk and the way her white button-down is buttoned maybe a button too low and the way it fits perfectly to her body and the way her sleeves are rolled up and her lips —

“You don’t remember?”

JJ’s dubious voice snaps Emily out of her daze, and she frowns slightly at the look of disbelief on her face.

“I — ” Emily says slowly. “I remember you left early, and then Pen took me back to my apartment.”

“Do you remember anything else?” JJ asks, and Emily has a flashback to grade school, being called out in front of the entire class only to have no idea what was going on.

“Am I supposed to?”

JJ studies her, mouth slightly open, tongue poking out, and Emily squirms under her piercing gaze. “Jayje — ”

“I guess you really don’t, huh,” JJ finally says.

There’s a silence as Emily struggles to find something to say, and she offers a meek, “Sorry.”

JJ, to her credit, laughs, and there’s a twinkle in her eyes that makes Emily’s stomach flip inside and out as she slides off her desk easily.

“No worries,” she says before, “Oh, I’ve got a new file for you.”

Emily groans as she takes the file, but she also knows JJ could hand her twenty files and she wouldn’t complain. Holding it, however, Emily notices that it’s light, and she frowns, but before she can protest, JJ smiles, and Emily’s voice dies in her throat.

“Take care, Emily,” JJ says. “I’ll see you around.”

And she leans forward and kisses Emily.

The only thing Emily can register is how soft her lips are. It’s a quick kiss on the cheek, and it happens so quickly, she wonders if it even happened at all. Her hand flies up to her cheek, mouth hanging open as JJ leans back and shoots her a grin, the corner of her mouth quirking up in — satisfaction? — before spinning on her heel and almost sauntering back to her office. Her face is burning — her face is definitely burning — but she can still feel the ghost of JJ’s tender lips pressing against her. 

The file in her hand — she opens it, and there’s just a single sticky-note in JJ’s signature wide-looped cursive.

_ I can kiss you however much you want on a date. _

“Better close your mouth before you catch any flies, princess,” someone sings, and Emily whirls around in her chair, mouth snapping shut immediately as she glares at her coworker.

“Shut it, Morgan,” she manages, but he only barks out a laugh as he turns to his deskmate.

“Reid, you see that?” Morgan crows. “Our resident hot-shot just got demolished by blondie’s little kiss.”

“I did see that,” Reid confirms, and Emily swings her glare to him. He only smirks and adds, “Her pupils are completely blown — ”

“Goodbye,” Emily interrupts, getting up from her seat and almost bolting out of the bullpen, and now her ears are burning and her hands are shaking and  _ she does not need to be here right now _ and maybe she could go and find JJ right now and see if that note is genuine —

Rossi joins Hotch at the railing of the bullpen, just in time to see Emily scrambling out of the bullpen, leaving a cackling Morgan and Reid in her wake.

“Well?” the Unit Chief asks, raising an eyebrow.

Rossi grunts. There’s a flicker of a smile on Hotch’s face. “Sorry, could you say that again?”

Another noise from the senior agent. Hotch waits patiently, one hand on the railing and the other holding the next case’s files, and then finally Rossi responds.

“You win,” he grumbles. “JJ made the first move.”

“Oh, did she now?” Hotch teases, and Rossi scoffs.

“Only barely, it was a kiss on the cheek! She kisses Garcia like that all the time — ”

“But this was a first for Emily,” Hotch interrupts, a cheeky grin on his face. “Considering all they do is dance around each other, I think a kiss on the cheek is definitely a move.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Was it $20?”

“Ah, I believe it was $25.”

Another grumble as Rossi passes Hotch the two bills, and the younger agent tucks it away discreetly. He hands Rossi his folder, and when Rossi takes it, he asks, “How did you know?”

“Hm?”

“How did you know it would be JJ? Emily had always been the one to flirt first. I thought for sure she was dominant enough to make the first move.”

Hotch smiles.

“Dave, I handpicked JJ for the media liaison role at the BAU. I trained her myself. There’s a lot more to her than she shows.”

And as Hotch saunters back to his office, leaving Rossi $25 lighter, the senior agent has to agree.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the closest thing to crack i will ever write lmfao,, ,,, anyways can we talk about jj and hotch's relationship in the early seasons? i think it's very important.  
> kind of an old fic! i've had this sitting around in my drafts for a while; the idea came when i read someone's post (i can't find it-- i'll link it if i do) about how early jemily dynamics could've been so fun if they scripted emily accordingly. i wish they got together hgnnghgng
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed!!


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